"The Yellow Can Rocket Boy" by Gunnar C. Carlson Jr.

This is an original E-Book (128 pages) published here for the first time by the author. It comes on a single CD in all these formats:

mac 5.1(.mcw)

MS word 95(.doc)

MS word 2000(.doc)

Word Perfect 5.x(.doc)

Rich Text(.rtf)

Adobe Acrobat Reader(.pdf) coming soon

(Printed copies are not available at this time)

I accept payment by Pay Pal to ae4w@zianet.com

Gunnar Carlson

 

$10.00 + $3.00 shipping within the USA

or

$10.00 and I'll send the book by E-Mail SPECIFY FORMAT (it is bigger than 2 Mb so the download will be very slow if you use a telephone modem). I recommend the CD

 

Contents (Chapters marked with * are on this web page)

Forward

I get to explain why I wrote this book....see I'm not really nuts

 

The Rocket Man*

How to publicly destroy two rocket launchers and still stay in the Army 30 years

 

The European Trip from Hell*

European hotel rooms are cement pits. They simply hose them down between guests

 

Home Alone*

Locked out on the balcony, in only a bathrobe at 20 degrees below zero, stopped traffic when I jumped

 

The Mastenfeldt Files*

How to invent and document an identity and use it to terrorize the establishment bureaucracy

 

The Contrapolar Radio Spectrum*

A new spectrum of radio frequencies which are below zero Megahertz (negaHertz). Your antenna will probably freeze even in the summer

 

Great Balls of Fire

The hazards of firing a flaming tennis ball cannon in a residential neighborhood

 

Rules of Order

Survival guide for majors in the Pentagon. These rules work!

 

Post Service Exams for Soldiers and Sailors

See how much you learned in the Service

 

The Retirement Speech*

A complete double talk speech which will fool everybody until they realize you are saying nothing

 

Roo Bar-B-Que

Invent a pet kangroo, then anounce its escape from the back yard in a thunderstorm, on ham radio

 

Bay Crotch

What you can get from many days at sea on the Chesapeake Bay in a sailboat with no shower

 

Confessions of a Werewolf

Bitten by the Chupa Cabra, causes strange hair growth during the full moon, and a strange desire to buy a motorcycle

 

On a Roll

The Army song encourages undesirables to join the Army

 

Cherokee Jack

Terror in the moonlight caused by a coat rack at Grandma's house

 

Cocktails at Yukon Betty’s

What can happen if you go into a brothel in Alaska--- by mistake

 

The Solution

How to not lose your wife in Sam's Club, sure-fire solution

 

The Salt Creek Flats Wilderness

The Mormans land in North America 600 years before Christ and 2600 years before Elvis

 

Appendix A :West Point Poems

My West Point room was once occupied by Edgar Allan Poe so these were automatic

 

Appendix B: Irish Poems

X- rated and sure to make Irishmen steam

 

Appendix C: The High Desert Cook Book

Nothing edible, but you will laugh yourself into a coma