BOOK OF MICHAEL

CHAPTER 1

In the beginning there was Chaos. And the Chaos was the Army, For the Army was alone.

And fear was with the Army, So they cried unto the Lord, Saying save us Lord, for we are afraid.

So the Lord said, Lo I send unto you a race of men with straight teeth and crooked smiles and they shall be called The Army Air Corps.

But it came to pass that the Army Air Corps yielded to temptation and did not provide the Army close support so the Lord said, because you have sinned against the Army, I shall cast you out of the Garden and you shall be known forever as the Air Force.

And so the Air Force was cursed to speak in tongues and to wear funny blue suits and to ride in airplanes which can fall from the sky like rain.

And the Lord saw what he had done and said, It is good.

But it came to pass that the Army again cried unto the Lord saying, help us Lord, for we are again afraid for the Air Force will not provide adequate tactical air support and we fall before our foes like wheat before the reaper.

So the Lord said, Let there be helicopters and these he gave unto the Army.

And when the Air Force saw what he had done, They cried out saying "Surely God is on the side of the Army."

And the Lord said…Right.

And the Lord cast the Air Force before the wind and scattered them to the far reaches of the earth. And the worst among them he cast into the desert in the Land of Zia.

And those he called Rundles. And the Rundles cried out saying, Help us Lord for we want to retire.

So let it be. For the Lord had been merciful to the Rundle named Michael and had made for him a mate named Judith. And Michael and Judith begat Shelley, Shannon, and Stephen.

You shall retire, the Lord said to Michael. But because you are numbered among the Rundles, you will not be granted knowledge to make you coveted by contractors and you shall dwell in the wilderness among the WSMRites and Hollomanites, and worst of all be neighbors to the Carlsonites named Gunnar and Beverly and their beast called Iris Ann.

Your pasture will be green only by great use of water which shall cost you dearly. And you shall have CHAMPUS which will not fully cover your needs. Your dental care will be naught and you shall travel many leagues to find a Commissary, and it will not have those foodstuffs which you desire. Your COLA’s shall decrease to nothing and turn to dust.

And the chief of all the WSMRites with four thousand footmen and swords shall no longer summon you into his presence. Save for the company of the wicked Carlsonites and their beast Iris Ann and host of aged retireites ye will be alone in the wilderness of Zia.

And your years shall pass quickly. Your hair will turn white and fall like the snow and your dentures shall become loose. The paint shall flake off your car. And you will be come wrinkled and stooped.

And it shall come to pass the trumpet will be sounded and you will be summoned into the presence of the Lord to be judged for the transgressions of the Air Force and even so, the Rundles. And with luck you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen