1.In the beginning there was chaos and darkness and the atmospherites were held in bondage by the WSMRites who were in turn in servitude to the Alamogordians and the Las Crucians.

2.The Atmospherites had fallen into disarray and could not discern a dry adiabat from an isotherm. Their anamometer cups did not runneth over and they quarreled amoung themselves for recognition, gold, and power.

3.And the Lord sent his loyal servant Morris, who had served him will, to lead the Atmospherites out of bondage in the vast basin of Tularosa.

4.The Lord had been merciful to his servant Morris, and had made for him a mate named Linda. Morris and Linda begot three children; James, Pamela, and Leigh Ann.

5.The Lord gave Morris coats of many colors, and pants to match, and caused the hairs of his head to be arrayed neatly, and bade him to never wear a hat.

6.Morris traveled out of the land of Texianium into the desert of Tularosa until he came unto the land of the WSMRites, where he was taxed heavily by the evil New Mexicanians.

7.He then appeared unto the Atmospherites saying, "Lo I bring you order, discipline, and leadership to free you from chaos and give you wisdom" And the Atmospherites said, "We want not your help. Get thee to an office and come not out unless summoned."

8.So Morris cried unto the Lord saying. "Lord these people want not to be led from chaos, rather they wish to diminish into nothingness." "So be it," said the Lord, "I shall cast them into the eternal nothingness of LABCOM. Eventhough it shall change its name many times, it shall always remain under the yoke of the evil council, Vitaleus.

9.And it came to pass that the Atmospherites decreased in numbers and did not multiply, their treasure dwindled to a mere pittance and strife amoung them continued for power and gold, they remained in bondage to WSMR and LABCOM (now ARL). And when the Atmospherites saw what the Lord had done, they cried out, "Surely Morris is on the side of the Lord."

10.And the Lord said, "Right!"

11.Morris again cried out to the Lord saying, "Lord I wish to retire for my patience is exhausted."

12."You shall retire with a bonus," said the Lord, "and dwell in the land of Texianium all of your days. Your hair shall turn white and fall from your head like the snow - you may now wear a hat.

13.You shall take frequent naps and make multitudiness visits to your friends and relatives, and to the bathroom. And you shall organize and reorganize your abode and garage until your mate makes a loud noise unto you to stop.

14.And the chief of all the WSMRites with four thousand footmen and swords shall no longer summon you into his presence. Save for the wicked Carlsonites and their beast Iris Ann, and a host of aged retireites you shall be alone in the wilderness of Texianium.

15.Your years shall pass quickly, and your dentures shall become loose. The paint shall flake off your car, and ye shall have no COLAs.

16.But because you have been a loyal and faithful servant, you shall dwell forever in the House of Pancakes, free from mariachies."