Dave's Retired Life

 David R. Hassall WA5DJJ Receieves
Ingeniero Honorario Award
New Mexico State University College of Engineering

 The Citation Reads:
In recognition of his outstanding service to the New Mexico State University College of Engineering, this Certificate acknowledges David R. Hassall as a member of the Sociedad de Ingenieros. From this day, you shall be known as Ingeniero Honorario. This distinction is given with all the rights, privileges and responsibilities appertaining to this title. Proclaimed this fourteenth day of December 2012 under the seal of New Mexico State University and the College of Engineering. Signed by Ricardo B. Jacquez, Ph.D., P.E. Dean and NMSU Regents Professor.



On August 3rd, 2012 Brian Mileshosky N5ZGT, ARRL Rocky Mountain Division Director, presented the Technical Achievement Award palque to David R. Hassall WA5DJJ at the ARRL Forum in the Duke City Hamfest at Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was awarded for David's technical achievements in QRSS experiments and providing the amateurs in Southern New Mexico with technical and practical assistance in their many projects over the years. This was a very unexpected award and it made me feel that I had just won the Amateur Radio Nobel Prize.


 At the Albuquerque Hamfest in August of 2003 David R. Hassall was honored by the New Mexico ARRL Section as the New Mexico Amatuer of the year. I am shown here receiving my award from the ARRL Section Manager Bill Weatherford KM5FT (on the left) and Warren G Morton WS7W Rocky Mountain Division Director (on the right). This was a very great honor for me to receive and it was greatly appreciated.

Dave's Great Jokes Section

New Mexico at the Creation

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's New Mexico, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, deserts, and mountains. There are lots of glorious wildlife, birds and wonderful creatures. The inhabitants of New Mexico are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely.

"Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them in TEXAS!"

 "The Santa fe'n"

Three Guys walked into a bar: a guy from El Paso, a guy from San Francisco, and a guy from Santa Fe. They drank for a while and got a bit rowdy.

Suddenly, without warning, the Texan grabbed a bottle of Tequila, unscrewed the top, took a good swig, and threw the bottle into the air. He then jerked a Colt .45 pistol out of his pocket and shot the bottle, spraying Tequila all over everything and everyone. The patrons at the bar shouted,"Hey, dude why'd you waste that Tequila?" The Texan said, "Heck, it's just Tequila. Us Texans go across the border all the time and get all the Tequila we want."

Not to be outdone, the Californian wihpped out a corkscrew and uncorked a bottle of fine California Wine. He poured some into a glass, swirled it, sniffed, commented on the tart insolence of its bouquet, sipped, tossed the bottle into the air, nicked it with a round from a silly little chrome plated pistol, and showered a couple of patrons at the bar with wine. The Patrons, upset by the casual waste and general lack of concern for their safety, expressed their displeasure and astonishment, to which the Californian replied,"Well, I'm from the Napa Valley, and we have more than enough wine where I come from."

The Santa Fe'n, a quiet observer up to this point, rolled the crystal hanging from his neck, adjusted his Birkenstocks, flipped back his ponytail, and put down his guitar. He popped the top off a bottle of Fat Tire Beer, hammered it back, threw the empty bottle into the air, pulled out a 9mm beretta, took careful aim, shot both the Californian and the Texan, and caught the falling bottle with his other hand. The patrons screamed in utter disbelief, "Why'd you do that?" The Santa Fe'n replied,

"I'm from New Mexico, We've already got too many Californians and WAY too many Texans, but glass bottles, Now those can be RECYCLED."


 The Golden Phone

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. He went to a very large church and began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a sign which reads "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asks about the phone and the sign. The pastor answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. He thanks the pastor and continues on his way.

As he continues to visit churches in Seattle, Boise, Minneapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee, New York, Atlanta, and on around the United States, he finds more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrives in New Mexico. Upon entering a church in Las Cruces, lo and behold, he sees the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign reads "Calls: 25 cents." Fascinated, he requests to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replies,

"Son, you're in New Mexico now, and it's a local call."

 The Drive

Four guys are driving cross-country together, one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from New Mexico and one from Texas. A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Nebraska turns to him and asks, "What the heck are you doing?"
The man from Idaho says, "Man, we have so many of these darn things in Idaho they're laying around on the ground, I'm sick of looking at them!"
A few miles down the road, the man from Nebraska begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from New Mexico asks!!
"What are you doing that for?"
The Nebraskan replies, "Man, we have so many of these darn things in Nebraska I'm sick of looking at them!"
Inspired by the others, the man from New Mexico opens the car door and pushes out the Texan.

 Mabel and Ethel

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said,"Mabel,
did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"

Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository? " She pulled it out and stared
at it . Then she said, " Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing . Now I think I
know where my hearing aid is."

 "The Eyes of Texas"

A cowpoke in the Texas panhandle was hearding longhorn cattle one day when he heard
faint music coming from nearby. After hunting about for a time, he discovered the sound was loudest near one particular calf, and was even louder near the calf's tail. Putting his head close to the calf's hind end, he heard "
The eyes of Texas are upon you, all the live long day"......"
Amazed he tossed the longhorn calf over his horse's back, mounted and rode to his line shack 10 miles away. There he put the calf into his truck and drove 74 miles to Tucumcari, New Mexico, where he took the animal to a vet.

When the vet asked him what was going on, the cowpoke told him, and the vet went around behind the calf and gave a listen, too. He agreed he heard, "The eyes of Texas are upon you, you cannot get away......", but didn't seem particularly excited, " Man how can you stand there and not be amazed?" the cowpoke asked.

The vet, a Third generation New Mexican, said, " Bud, I'm a New Mexican, and I've been listening to buttholes sing the "Eyes of Texas" all my life!"

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