Sayings of Chairman W

"All Wastebaskets Look Alike"

Falsely but perhaps generously attributed to Chairman W

and now ...

actual sayings of George Dubya Bush:

... but first, a word about truth.

These quotations appear to me to be genuine Dubyaisms. I could be wrong, but they look good. (Don't believe everything you think.) There is also an exhaustive list of Quayleisms (quotes from Dan Quayle) that has in recent months been recycled as supposed Dubyaisms (with dates moved up by seven years -- something not done accidentally or mistakenly). For what it's worth, however dense Dubya is, he's not as stupid as Quayle.

I got such lists mixed in with my daily spam on two occasions and recognized them for what they were -- a big lie. It really pissed me off. We have enough problems with lying politicians without lying about them ourselves. I may put up a list of actual Quayleisms. If so there will be a link here.

Now for the real thing:... but first, a little song.(click here)

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I don't have to accept their tenants.
I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants.
And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Today, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have -- he can't have it both ways.
He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, to reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

"Really proud of it. A great campaign.
And I'm really pleased with the organization and the
thousands of South Carolinians that worked on my behalf.
And I'm very gracious and humbled."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, to Cokie Roberts, This Week, Feb. 20, 2000

"I don't want to win? If that were the case why the heck
am I on the bus 16 hours a day, shaking thousands of hands,
giving hundreds of speeches, getting pillared in the press and
cartoons and still staying on message to win?"
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Newsweek, Feb. 28, 2000

"I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad.
Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Newsweek, Feb. 28, 2000

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, explaining the need for educational accountability in Beaufort, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher." -- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush,
South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"I do not agree with this notion that somehow if I go to try to attract
votes and to lead people toward a better tomorrow somehow I get
subscribed to some -- some doctrine gets subscribed to me."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Meet The Press, Feb. 13, 2000

"I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less --
I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show.
And I'm more interacting with people."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Meet The Press, Feb. 13, 200

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class,
I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Nashua, N.H.,
as quoted by Gail Collins in the New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the
San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation.
It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Speaking during "Perseverance Month"
at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H.
As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas,
quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever.
However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society.
So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is
saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, quoted by Molly Ivins,
The San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000 (Thanks to Toni L. Gould.)

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly
who they were," he said. "It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was.
Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are
focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent
men and women, women who will see service to our country as a
great privilege and who will not stain the house."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Des Moines Register debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000

"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mential losses."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, at a South Carolina oyster roast, as quoted in the Financial Times, Jan. 14, 2000

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, at a South Carolina oyster roast, as quoted in the Financial Times, Jan. 14, 2000

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"Gov. Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"There needs to be debates, like we're going through.
There needs to be town-hall meetings. There needs to be travel.
This is a huge country."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

"I read the newspaper."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, in answer to a question about his
reading habits, New Hampshire Republican Debate, Dec. 2, 1999

"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be
firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock
is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say
there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like
Miss Wolf in society.
... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999

"The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country.
Within months, I knew many of them."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, from A Charge To Keep, by George W. Bush, published November 1999

"It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned
his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, Keene, N.H., Oct. 22, 1999,
quoted in the New Republic, Nov. 15, 1999

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, answering a question about why he hasn't
spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

"I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time debating it.
Maybe we did, but I don't remember."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, on discussions of the Vietnam War
when he was an undergraduate at Yale, Washington Post, July 27, 1999

"The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand
from your foreign minister, who came to Texas."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, to a Slovak journalist
as quoted by Knight Ridder News Service, June 22, 1999.
Bush's meeting was with Janez Drnovsek, the prime minister of Slovenia.

"If the East Timorians decide to revolt, I'm sure I'll have a statement."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, quoted by Maureen Dowd
in the New York Times, June 16, 1999

"Keep good relations with the Grecians."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, quoted in the Economist, June 12, 1999

"Kosovians can move back in."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, CNN Inside Politics, April 9, 1999

"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then."
-- George Dubya "Shrub" Bush, from a 1994 interview,
as quoted in First Son, by Bill Minutaglio