Why Are We Here?
by Sir Egil Njalsson
(March 1996)

In a recent Pegasus Valley newsletter, Sir Andacar addressed several very valid points, and I would like to address two of them: how, in role-playing terms, do we explain the fact that we have a seemingly endless number of lives, though we can only use a few of them in any given hour? And how do we justify going to war against people our personas are very close to, or even related to?

For most personas, the idea of infinite (though typically four per battle) lives can indeed be difficult to explain, especially for historically-based characters. Nowhere in history that I can find do we have a true example of people who believed that warriors going into combat and dying well would come back to participate in that same battle. Certainly, there are a wide variety of cultures who believe that people who die, and especially those who live well and die well, will go on to some sort of afterlife (which may or may not be preferable to this one); but they do not believe that these people will come back to have the same kind of life we humans experience now.

Most cultures with an "afterlife" concept believe that this afterlife will take place somewhere else, invisible to our mortal eyes though perhaps inhabiting the same space. Others believe that spirits of the dead return to walk our plane of existence, if only for a short time; but there is always something different about them: to many cultures, these spirits have become insubstantial. To some, the effect of having died turns these spirits toward evil, and may embody them with a "hellish" strength. Those who believe in reincarnation feel that you are indeed reborn, but into another body; with only the faintest (if any) realization that you have lived before, or when, or where, or how. To the best of my searching knowledge, no culture believes that you truly come back, on a regular basis, into the same body, at the same time; or that like some cartoon cat you come back labelled with the number of the life you are now using.

Even in fantasy settings, this idea of limitless lives does not permeate the literature by any means. While some author, as for example in the Riverworld series, may choose to add this feature as a twist to their realm, it is certainly not common. If Conan dies, he dies. The same is true of a Dragonrider, or an elf, or even a superhero (though recalcitrant comic book authors, like the writers of the old cliffhanger movies, are fond of changing the story retro-actively to make it obvious that the character never actually died). In any case, none of the above characters (even in Riverworld) just go rest for a while, and then come back to where and when they were; the effects of their death having worn off.

So, if neither history nor fantasy typically exhibit this feature of the temporary or 5-minute death, how does Amtgard justify it?

To answer this question, we must go back to the early days of Amtgard. Without going into the sordid details, let us simply say that the direction of Amtgard was once, very briefly (according to the people I have spoken with) under the influence of a man who had a more viking-oriented group in mind. In fact, what we now call "Nirvana" was once called "Valhalla," until the name was changed in an act of trying to purge this man's stains and influence from the club. (The idea of calling it "Nirvana" has never made sense to me: why, upon reaching Nirvana and thus attaining true enlightenment, would one even continue to care about life on Earth; much less want to return to it?)

Valhalla, to the viking warrior, was the ultimate goal. Only those who died gloriously in battle, and were chosen by the Valkyries, would have the honor and privilege of going there. Yet it was not a place of rest. The noble slain warriors became a part of the Einheriar -- the army of human warriors who would fight on the side of the Aesir gods in the final battle of Ragnarok (the ultimate battle between gods, giants, and monsters in which the worlds would be destroyed). This battle was not something they would simply sit around waiting for: each day they would arise, go out into the nearby Plains of Vigrid, and do battle with each other all day. Any wounds or "deaths" would heal by the end of the day, and they would feast with Odin before retiring to bed; to get up the next day and do it all again. By fighting other great warriors, their skills would be sharpened, and they would prepare for the day to come when they would have to fight the greatest enemies the worlds had ever produced: the giants, monsters, and evil gods.

If we think of our Nirvana as a transition phase to finally being taken to Valhalla, it all makes sense. We are being trained for an eventual battle which will call upon all our skills. To this end, we are pitched against each other -- friend fighting friend, and skilled warrior fighting skilled warrior -- to hone our skills. By the grace of the Aesir gods, and perhaps of those deities the non-viking characters serve (if any; if they don't have one they are welcome to use ours), our deaths are only temporary, for by entering Amtgard we have entered the realm of those who may eventually need us. By stepping into an Amtgard setting, I have entered a realm between heaven and earth, in which earthly concerns are still important, but which is a little closer to the guardians of our lives, who keep our deaths from being permanent.

Who would be better to help us hone our skills than those who know us best? And therefore, if death is only temporary, who would be better to fight against? Speaking personally, I much prefer the atmosphere created when fighting friends to the one created when we fight our enemies. It allows us to take the battle less seriously if we choose to do so, though of course there is a purpose for the battle, and we should give full support to those who seek to use the battle to further their own skills.

Now, I am not saying that our personas should suddenly become all spiritually-minded in light of this viewpoint. Even the vikings, with their goal of reaching Valhalla, usually had it only in the back of their minds somewhere, as more pressing issues took the majority of their attention. All we need is an understanding that this is the situation; then we can go on with our lives. (And deaths.)

Thus, I can go out to the park on Saturdays with an easy conscience. Though no-one likes to die, we can all feel easier both about dying and about killing others, for by doing so we are only seeking to hone our own and others' skills. We can fight together, feast together, and look forward to the day when our skills will be made perfect.

So with that understanding, "Lay on!"

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