*** SILLY CREATURES ***
Here's what we've got so far:
BARNEY MONSTER
(DS: Bjarni Egilsson and BL: Morning Glory)
(While we realize that the Barney may well be the only monster to be routinely killed BEFORE the battle starts, we felt that rules for such a critter were in order. Our apologies to the copyright holders: it's meant to be funny!) :)
Type: Silly Creature
Quester/monster ratio: Everybody vs. Barney (well, that's how it will work out)
Armour: one point natural blubber armor (the fat absorbs a blow), healable. This works against weapons, but does not stop magic.
Shield: None
Attacks: you have two weapon combination choices --
1) 2 daggers, 'cuz his arms are short. These represent claws.
2) Single flail. This represents his tail. Therefore, if an arrow hits the flail it is taken as a butt shot (a.k.a. death. Blubber won't help you, 'cuz there's no such thing as a one-point arrow.), though it can be used to block melee weapons.
Abilities:
1) Waddling, in a cheery manner. Doesn't help anything, but there it is nevertheless.
2) Immunity to charm. You can't BS a BSer.
Garb: Umm, big purple dinosaur. Any questions?
Description: Umm, big purple dinosaur. Any questions? Figment of the kids' imagination, but unfortunately to the rest of us it's painfully real. Kids love him; adults have more of a mixed reaction. Generally, he wants to be your friend, but watch out if you get him upset. He can be vicious if he's only wounded.
Lives: 3
Levels:
1st:Fan Club: once per life, you can say "Hi there! Would you like to be my friend?" 2x, range 20 feet. Recipient becomes your friend, and while they will not fight on your side they would not THINK of harming you for 1000 count. Similar effects to the Scare ability of some undead, except this time they won't attack you because they've become your friend.
2nd:Theme Song: once per battle. Sing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" 1x. (Any natural charm immunities apply to the recipient.) Victim must skip and dance with a big stupid grin on their face for 100 count, during which time they cannot be harmed.
3rd:Crowd of Kids: you are surrounded by small children, which means you cannot attack or be attacked by anyone within 20 feet. Invoked by saying "It's magic time!" 5x with both feet planted. Once you have invoked the spell, you may move. Remains in effect as long as you keep chanting the phrase, or until you put your hands on your weapons. Similar to the monk Sanctuary ability.
4th:Story Time: as the bardic Legend spell, once per life.
5th:Theme Song becomes once per life.
6th:Hug of Death: as the assassin Touch of Death, once per life. Charged by saying "hug of death" 20x. Upon touching the victim, you have wrapped them in your big lovable arms and squeezed the very life out of them.
Discussion: It was lots of fun to make this one up. Haven't actually used it. - Bjarni
THE GREAT CORNHOLIO
(SW: Roger Shrubstaff)
Type: Silly Creature
Quester/monster ratio: 3:1
Armour: 3 points invulnerability armor; may not wear additional armor
Shield: None
Attacks: None
Abilities:
1) Natural ambidexterity
2) Immune to any verbal magic that specifically targets Cornholio. He just ignores it.
3) Immune to feeblemind.
4) Immune to honor duel.
5) Whenever anyone strikes Cornholio (knocking off an invulnerabilty),
he may ask "Are you threatening me?". That individual (who struck Cornholio) may not attack him again that (attacker's) life.
6) Bards (and Gypsies) are fascinated by The Great Cornholio and wish to hear his words of wisdom, hoping for inspiration. They must follow The Great Cornholio about and not attack him, and attempt to stop those who would silence him.
Garb: Blue T-shirt with heavy metal band (preferably AC/DC), drawn up over head. Arms should be held out horizontal, with elbows bent in L-shape pointing up. Must constantly keep up "Cornholio" chatter: if dropped for more than ten seconds, Cornholio reverts to his normal self.
Description: The Great Cornholio is a normal person playing a normal class until activated. This is usually done by ingesting a large quantity of sugar.
Lives: by normal class
Levels:
1st: Warp Wood, unlimited
2nd: Extension, unlimited
3rd: Harden, 2x per life
4th: Able to steal any cloth-covered object by declaring "I need TP for my Bunghole!"x2, range 20'
5th: Stun 1x per life (mimics kicking victim in the nads). (Doesn't work
on women, I guess)
6th: Able to summon The Almighty Bungholio (chant 'The Almighighighghty Bbbunnnggghoooollliooooooioioioio" x5)
Summon the Almighty Bungholio: This requires that Cornholio give a reeve
some "Bungholio" garb. The reeve then plays Bungholio who basically uses
his reeve abilities to grant any one request Cornholio may have at that
time.
Discussion: This was one of mine from a bit back. If you use it I claim no responsibility for any consequences :) - Roger Shrubstaff
THE LIVING BRAIN
(SW: Roger Shrubstaff)
Type: Silly creature
Quester/Monster Ratio: 2:1
Armour: None (but resides inside forcewall circle)
Shield: None
Attacks None, except magic
Abilities:
1) Forcewall circle - automatic, surrounds Brain where it begins play, which may not be within 50' of any base. Living Brain may use it's spell-like abilities through this circle. A Dispel Magic will destroy this circle and kill the living brain. Otherwise it stops stuff as a forcewall does.
2) "Shove", unlimited. Mainly used to draw people towards edge of container. Range 50'
3) Stun, as per healer spell. Once per life.
4) Mind-Transfer: "By the power of my brain I transfer my mind"x2. Living brain hands his or her garb over to victim (who must be stunned and pressed against forcewall circle) and they take its place as the new Living Brain. Living Brain now has body (and all lives, abilities, etc.) of victim (though you must still ask to use weapons). Victim recovers after 100 count and is now a Living Brain. To transfer to a body is the Living Brain's only goal. Anyone who has been a Living Brain during a game is immune to the mind-transfer effect.
Vulnerabilities: Living Brain may not normally move.
Garb: Convoluted grey tunic. Arms should be inside tunic, and person should sit cross-legged inside circle. Circle should be clearly marked.
Description: Disembodied brain. Watch out for this critter.
Lives: 2
Levels:
1st: as above
2nd: Messenger, 1/life. Used to tell victims to come within range.(range 50')
3rd: Extension, 1/life. May be used on any ability, including Mind-Transfer, giving it a range of 20'.
4th: Stun 2/life.
5th: Teleport 1/life. Takes circle with him. Base restrictions apply.
6th: May levitate and fly about. While this is done the brain is vulnerable to all missile weapons, and can use no other abilities. Any hit will kill. Must make a humming sound while flying, and declare when landing.
Discussion: This was another one I had from awhile back that was never submitted (well, except as a post to the list a year or two ago). It has not been playtested. -- Roger Shrubstaff
WERE-CHIHUAHUA
(DS: Cestus Stonebones)
Type: Silly creature
Quester/monster ratio: 0.0001:1
Armour: None. They also can only take one hit. Period. Any wound kills. (To simulate the were-chihuahua's weak constitution.)
Shield: None (Oh, come on. A chihuahua with a shield???)
Attacks: daggers or throwing daggers (to simulate that annoying ability of nipping you on the ankle and then jumping back before you can kill it)
Abilities:
1) Were-chihuahuas cannot carry enchantments of any kind: it will kill them. ("Sorry ma'am, the spell just blew it to hell!")
2) Anyone who charms a were-chihuahua is "yipped." [See below] ("He petted Poopsie and she got so excited she peed all over him.")
3) Immune to sphere of annihilation and sever spirit. ("Why won't it go away!?")
4) Magic: NOT!!!
Garb: headpiece with BIIIG ears, and trick (or really thick) glasses to simulate their bug-eyed expression.
Description: These things (like their namesakes) are incredibly annoying, but very easy to kill if you can catch them.
Lives: 6 initially [see levels]
Levels:
1st:a) Start with 6 lives (hard to get rid of them) (death = 300 count)
b) 1 Yip per battlegame
2nd:a) 1 additional life (total of 7) (death = 250 count)
b) +1 Yip per battlegame (total of 2)
3rd:1 Superyip per battlegame
4th:a) 1 additional life (total of 8) (death = 200 count)
b) Yip becomes once/life
5th:a) Teleport once/life (to simulate the were-chihuahua's ability to hide behind things and get away from an enraged person)
b) Yip becomes twice/life
c) Once per battlegame, one Yip can be forfeited to create "Mama"
6th:a) 1 additional life (total of 9) (death = 150 count)
b) +1 Superyip per battlegame (total of 2)
c) Once per battlegame, one Superyip can be forfeited to resurrect "Mama"
Notes:
Yip -- Range 20 feet. By pointing at target with either hand and saying "yip" 10 times you can create the effects of emotion control berserk as per the bard spell; anyone can be affected. But the target now has a new goal in life: the person affected must begin at once to do everything in their power to kill the were-chihuahua or die trying. Once either of them is dead the emotion control stops.
Superyip -- Range 20 feet RADIUS (affects everyone in range, on all teams), same effects as Yip; only the activation is "superyip"x5 then "yip"x10.
"Mama" -- Range 20 feet. Cast by pointing at target with either hand and saying "Mama" x10. This is the ability to create a protector. It is emotion control berserk used on someone who will protect you at all costs. It lasts until either "Mama" or the were-chihuahua dies. Note: "Mama" can be on the other team, and will always defend; but cannot be forced to attack anyone if it would violate team loyalty.
"Mama" resurrect: Were-chihuahua must cry over body and say "Mama" 20 times. Brings "Mama" back fully recovered.
Discussion: Note: Were-chihuahuas have no lycanthropic abilities or immunities. The term "were-", as with the "Were-tigger," was used simply to indicate they're not quite "normal." Has been played in DS by Cestus, who kept it nicely annoying. - Bjarni
WERE-TIGGER
(DS: Bjarni Egilsson)
(Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended, and no financial profit is made either from these rules or their application. It's an act of wanton silliness! I think the real Tigger would approve, if he understood what was going on.)
Type: Silly creature
Quester/monster ratio: Oh, leave him alone. He's having fun.
Armour: only at later levels.
Shield: None
Attacks: 2 short swords or daggers, or a combination thereof. These represent claws. However, he is more prone to fits of general silliness than actual combat.
Abilities:
1) Bouncing 1/life - even first level Tiggers can bounce. This is a limited type of flight, but only has a 20 foot radius (at first). Say "bounce" x5 to activate; you are now out of range of hand-held weapons though you can still be hit by spells and ranged weapons. Hold weapons above your head to indicate your status. Move to anywhere within 20 feet and say "landing" x5 to come down. You cannot stay in the air for more than a 50 count.
2) Ability to generally act silly and quite often attempt to do things that you can't actually do and get into trouble, because "that's what Tiggers do best!"
3) Tiggers do not have the general lycanthropic ability of immunity to normal weapons. The term "were-" was used out of habit, from the discussions which led to its development.
Garb: They are soft, cuddly creatures, orange with black stripes. A silly voice would add a lot to the character.
Description: Tiggers are bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, fun-fun-fun-fun-fun! But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is you're the only one! They mean well but tend to get into a lot of trouble through their over-zealousness and their lack of ability to think ahead.
Lives: 3
Levels:
1st:as above
2nd:Boisterousness 1/life - run up to someone and say "Hello, there! I'm Tigger! Eye, eye, double tee, eye, double guh, er. That spells Tigger!" x1. You have in effect bowled them over. Effect is like a shove spell: knocks them back 20 feet.
3rd:a) Bounce becomes 50 foot radius.
b) 1 point all-over natural armor, similar to duelist's luck points: each leg, each arm, and the torso can each bounce off one shot. To use this, immediately upon being hit say "Tiggers don't like being hit in the xxxxx." (arm, leg, body) This can be healed (just like any other natural armor). Note: this is not invulnerability armor, and will not stop spells nor 2-point (or higher) weapons.
4th:a) Boisterousness becomes 2/life.
b) Can bounce into trees 1/battle: touch a tree and say "boing" x5; you are now in the tree, out of the range of spell balls and ranged weapons. Unfortunately, Tiggers don't know how to climb back down -- their tails get in the way. You are stuck. Hollering "help" plaintively might be of some use: if you can attract a druid's, scout's, thief's, or woodland creature's attention (folks who theoretically are good at climbing trees), they can help you get down. They must say "climbing" x10 to get up next to you, then "descending" x10 to get both of you back down. They are vulnerable to ranged attack (spells and projectiles) in the meantime; you are not vulnerable until you start "descending."
5th:a) Bounce into trees becomes 1/life.
b) Ability to cure poison on self, unlimited: if you discover you are poisoned (whether ingested, or from a weapon), within a 100 count (standard for poison) make general hacking and spitting sounds for a 10 count, and say "Tiggers DON'T like poison." You have flushed the poison out of your system.
6th:Ability to try ANYTHING (any spells or abilities, or anything else you can think of) once per battle, because "that's what Tiggers do best!" Success is up to the discretion of the reeve. Later discussion may make a list of things Tiggers can attempt, but for now nothing is excluded. Upon completion of the attempt, whether it worked or not, you must say "no, Tiggers don't like xxxxx." (Fireball, Teleport, Resurrect, Charm, using a bow, whatever) Once you've tried a particular spell or ability, you can't use that spell or ability again for the rest of the battle, but everything you haven't tried is still available. Note: Tiggers can't cast any spells that involve counting past 20 (like doomsday, mass sleep) because their attention span isn't long enough -- they can start it, but they'll get distracted before they finish.
Discussion:
1) Yes, I know that the character Tigger was not a historically accurate legendary figure of the medieval (or earlier) period, but, hey, neither was the White Rabbit. Live a little. We'll just call it "fantasy."
2) This is obviously a "special monster." There will only be one in any given battle game. Sixth-level Tiggers especially will need to be used with great discretion (and patience) on the part of the reeve. In DS, I am the only one who has played it.
3) And, by the way: Yep, that's me. The guy in the Tigger outfit bouncing around on Sunday mornings at major events. Why? Because going around, confusing groggy, hung-over people is WHAT TIGGERS DO BEST! - Bjarni
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