Sunday, April 29, 2007

Bizarre travel tidbits

In Paris, while walking around directly underneath the Eiffel Tower, I was approached by two utes, say 17-20 years old. It was 10 AM, and they were noticeably drunk. They said something to me and I responded in very broken Fench ("Je ne parle pas français" or anything remotely like it is a very handy phrase for stating the obvious). They immediately switched to broken English and asked if I were American or English. American. "Oh, we love America, the jeans, the shoes," they said, indicating our common attire. I pointed out that our Levis and Nikes were likely made in Singapore or Indonesia or somewhere close thereby. "Yes, but still, America is the best." Okay Francois, moving along now.

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In Cordoba, while sharing a Ute Hostel room with an Aussie and two English kids (again 17-20), the Englishmen made several comments to the effect that, "English travelers are famous for being loud, obnoxious, rude, and assuming that everyone else speaks English if only you speak loudly and slowly enough." That makes me wonder if every culture believes their own countrymen to be the worst. Or perhaps the rumors about the universality of English are true and foreigners really are feigning ignorance?

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Leaving Albuquerque after Thanksgiving one year, I was looking for a station that reputedly sells biodiesel. Since I couldn't find it, I called my wife on the cell, asked her to find the address on biodiesel.org, then take the address and guide me with google maps. How cool is consumer technology? Had I been thinking, I would have gotten the GPS location and homed with my own.

Anyhow, it's in a decayed part of the city, a mix of industrial lots and low rent housing. As I came upon a park, I noticed a black man running. It caught my attention: he wasn't dressed to work out, and he didn't appear to be running away from anything, so ... ? As I continued around the curve in the direction from which he just came, on alert for whatever might have caused his actions, I noted a group of people gathered around ... what is that? ... a body on the ground! I slowed enough to realize it looked like a seizure, so I pulled over, called 911 on the cell, and started walking toward the group.

The 911 operator kept asking me where I was at. Jeez, lady, that's why this thing has GPS; you tell me. "Okay, I'm in the park on 3rd near the Big I. Yes, 3rd. An ambulance. I don't know him, it looks like a seizure. Yes, the park. I don't know the name. Yes, 3rd." About this time, I notice that there is a Fire Station directly across the street, and the door is opening, so I tell the operator, "Nevermind, there's a fire station right here." She wanted to continue arguing about the location (looking it up, now, I think it's Coronado Park).

By this time, I'm standing with what appears to be a very skid-rowey crowd (no shaving, big bushy hair, slept-in clothes, underweight). We're watching the EMTs walk as slow as I have ever seen anyone walk toward us, and one of the men (the black man I originally saw running away?) engages me in conversation. He was surprisingly lucid. "Look at that. That's what we get out here. Look how slow they are, like we don't count. I'll bet if we called from a house, they'd be there already." Then he said something that just about blew my top off: "THAT is why I don't pay my taxes. They want us to pay taxes and THIS is what we get for service? Oh Hell no! This is why I do not pay taxes." Apparently, I ran into a vulgar libertarian, street edition. Perhaps it was a syndicalist commune? They thanked me for stopping and calling, the ambulance operators glared at me, and I split. Happy Thanksgiving, I guess.

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I found that the Prime Meridian in Greenwich is about 80 meters off (as I recall). I stood on the spot with my GPS receiver and it did not read 0.000 longitude. A Japanese man stepped up next to me, held his up to mine, and found the same result. The staff at the Royal Observatory neither took me seriously nor saw the humor in my suggestion to move the marker to the correct location as indicated by our 21st century devices (as if a 19th century device could be more accurate - ha!). I was not impressed by the Harrison clocks, either - jeez, any schoolboy can buy wristwatches more accurate than those monstrosities, and for about 10 millionths of the price.

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Last week, I saw an old man, perhaps late 50s, walking down the street with a new garden hose. It looked to weigh 1/3 of what he weighed, so he was having problems with it in the wind. I had already passed him, so I flipped around and pulled up next to him. He only had another 100 yards to go, but along the way he enthusiastically told me about the electric scooter he used to commute to work, how he could plug it in at either end of the trip so it didn't cost any money to operate (apparently his rent included electricity). He is a dishwasher at a well known cafe here. As he got out, he started hunting through his pockets and offered to give me some money. Let's see, 100 yards, divide by 46 mpg, multiply by $3, adjust for our income differentials ... I should have paid him for the entertainment value, eh?

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