Jan.12th, 2002 Well, here we are in another year. I swear, I don't know what happened to the old one. They keep passing me by too quickly.

Things are going reasonably well around here. Dad's health is not what we would like, but at 85 years old, he's still vibrant, well informed, reads voraciously and has a great sense of humor. The same can be said for my Mom. She has her "bad" days, but is that loving, involved funny woman she's always been.

Daughter Lisa and her husband are both well, the baby is doing just fine and actually talked to me on the phone last week! Being a preemie, her speech skills are coming slowly, so those few words to me were wonderful. I miss those kids and would like to make a trek to Florida for a visit.

Work is about the same. Not very inspiring, and a bit mundane. I keep my eyes open for other opportunities just in case something exciting presents it's self. But it would be hard to turn my back on the perks of a government job. We'll see what happens.

My other pet of a few years, Bud, Da Bird, A pretty lovebird, croaked last night. I noticed yesterday that he was being a bit lethargic and not singing much. He was the same way when I got home from work last night. Early this morning, he was a goner. I already miss his songs and will probably replace him one of these days. Thank goodness I hadn't bonded with him as closely as I had with my, now dead for a year, dog of 14 years, P.J.

I really don't need to lose any more "creatures" who are close to me, but on any day, I could get a phone call from one of my parents with bad news of the other. It's inevitable, but stll one of the real dreads in my life.

March 15th, 2002 Well, more car crap. The poor old Cavilier has developed a leak in the head between water jacket ports. It's with my trusted mechanic and will be fixed eventually. It's a matter of having the money and catching my mechanic with enough time.

However, a new car has entered the stable! Friends from work sold me their 1990 VW Fox for $500. It's in good shape, notwithstanding a few minor things, and I find I'm enjoying having a German car again. German engineering is superb, and VW does many things right. Of course, there are always the little German idiosyncrasies, but what the hell. It did take me a few days to adjust to a standard gearbox. I guess I've been driving automagics for too long.

March 30th, 2002 Some of you remember meeting my Mom a few years back. She was still getting around pretty well then. Now things have changed.

I got a call from Dad on Monday morning, telling the he was going to take Mom to the hospital, but he needed me to come down and help get her up from the floor and get her dressed. Their accounts change, but apparently she had slipped off the bed sometime on Saturday or Sunday and had stayed there until I got there Monday AM and called 911. Apparently, there had been some very bad decision making by one or both of them. They could have easily called me or my best friend immediately and we would have been there.

It looks like at age 83, Mom is finally running out steam. (Her Doc, a gruffly honest, bearded old Norwegian, describes Mom as "being on the slippery slope") We've placed her in an assisted living situation, hopefully only until she can "bulk up" a little, but I'm not so sure about that. She may or may not come home. She is not eating well and has lost quite a bit of weight. Should she come home, I'm not all that sure that Dad could really give her the care she needs, as he has his own health issues to deal with. At age 85 and after 7 hip surgeries, he doesn't get around well either and has taken a few falls. Also he has been experiencing "cardiac events" during which he just sort of goes out for a while. Naturaly, his spells scare hell out of Mom.

July 1st, 2002 Following Mom's stay in the assisted living/nursing home environment, the family decided to move both her and Dad into an assisted living appartment in the same facility for a month. It was a very nice situation, but I think it was there that Dad realized that Mom's needs were greater than we had expected.

A wound (bedsore) on her leg was not being attended to as well as it might have been, so we took her to the ER at the local hospital. She was admitted and spent a couple of days being treated. At that point, her doctor decided that continued 24/7 nursing care was called for. We placed Mom in another, more affordable facillity. While we all feel that the care at the second nursing home was much better, she continued to lack appetite, and we watched as her mind slowly began to fail her.

Last week Tuesday, she took a turn for the worse and wasn't expected to make it through the day. She DID make it through the day, but following another turn for the worse a couple of days ago, passed away peacfully this morning at 8:00.

Like everyone else's Mom, Mine was one of those "very special" people. We'll all miss her like mad, but I guess that knowing that her time was coming made her passing a little easier on all of us.

Mom will be creamated tomorrow. Her body will be gone, but her spirit remains. I'll have to practice remembering the good years and not to dwell on the past few months

I'm starting to know how some of you have felt, having had to make hard decisions for the ones who always loved you the most. It's hard to know that we are making the best decisions for all concerned.

Ya know, this gettin' older and "more responsible" crap isn't what it's cracked up to be.

Sometimes it really sucks.

Dec.25th, 2004 Geez, I hadn't realized how long it's been since I updated this journal! I haven't been writing much of anything lately, despite nagging from my best friend. Lot's has happened since my last entry, so let me try to efficiently catch up.

The VW Fox I'd been driving was becoming a serious money pit and was developing some rather serious front end problems. It got to the point where I really didn't trust it much any more, so I traded it and $300 for a 1984 Subaru 4wd wagon. It's a rust bucket, having spent most of it's life in Colorado, but it seems to run pretty well. It needs some attention, but since I bought it a week and a half ago, I've already gotten a start. I did a tire balance, put on new rear shocks, new front brake pads and replaced damned near every light bulb in the vehicle. It still needs a bushing kit in the shifter and there's one non working tail light, which, so far has eluded me. But I'll get it working one of these days. The car is together enough that I'd probably not hesitate to drive it to Taos on short notice. Why Taos, you might ask? Well, that's another story.

After Mom passed away, Dad continued living in the family home here in the southern end of the state for about a year. He was doing pretty well, but was lonely and mourning the loss of his mate of 64 years. He and my Sister decided that he might be better off moving to Taos where Sis lives. That way, someone could look in on him daily..something my schedule wouldn't really allow. So, having made up his mind, Dad decided (against my best counsel) to move the mobile home he lives in, the 400 odd miles to Taos. It cost him a small fortune and it did tweak the house a bit, but we have him in a nice park and Sis does see him every day. As a matter of fact, she decided not long ago to move in with Dad. She determined that his ability to live independently was dwindling and he needed someone there with him. She was right. There have been some "episodes" which lead Sis and I both, to believe that she made the right decision.

One morning, about 3 weeks ago, Dad complained to Sis of being dizzy. She had found him still sitting in his chair from the night before. He had not been to bed and was in a real spaced out condition before Sis got his attention and heard of the dizziness. She decided that it was off to the hospital with him. The Docs found that he has a low sodium level which might be contributing to his complaints. So, they started treatment for that. Sis also had the hospital shrink talk to him. She's concerned about his short term memory, or lack thereof. He just doesn't remember what he does or says very well any more. The shrink, in concert with Dad's doctors, determined that there is some dementia and have prescribed Alzheimer's medications. They also are wondering if he's not experiencing some mini strokes (TIA's for those of you who know about that stuff) and perhaps some seizures. Treatment is ongoing for those maladies.

A decision was made a week and a half ago between Sis and the Docs, that Dad is not able to be left alone. He just can't safely live independently anymore. They moved him to a nice nursing home in Taos for what has been deemed a temporary stay. None of us, including Dad, are so sure that he'll ever go home for other than a visit. It's saddening to us and, as you might imagine, Dad is not a happy camper. We just have to do what's right for him. Dad's on his own "slippery slope", not unlike Mom shortly before she died. It's sad to see, but you know that I always end this piece with the following observation;

The big wheel keeps on turnin'