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It Starts With An H
How does he remember
those little details so well?
He knows the street name
(in Sydney, Australia)
on which I lived
when I was corresponding with him
and I am supposed to be able to
name the street
to prove that I am Nam.
If I don't prove that I am the Nam
who I really am,
he won't send me the check
he promised he would pay me
at the time we got divorced
15 years ago.
Does it mean he is paying you
the money he owed you 15 years ago?
Yes, only if I can prove I am the person
who I claim to be.
'It starts with an H.'
How the hell would I know?
I lived in so many places
moved to so many different residences
met so many different people
& went to so many different houses
and homes.
But he asks me to name the street
on which I lived at the time
when he was corresponding with me.
H?
No idea.
'Then what's the name of the old lady
in Denver we visited together?'
'Clara? Clara Donley.'
'What's the name of the lady friend of yours
in Colorado Springs?'
'Marilyn?'
Would that be all?
'OK.'
H?
Still no clue.
It was a hot summer time
when I arrived in Sydney,
took off all the winter clothes
I had on in the airport restroom
and changed into summer outfit.
AUSTRALIA!
For the first time
in the southern hemisphere.
Andy!!
Where is he?
He went back to Greece
where he tends 50 goats
in the mountains.
What happened to his unfaithful wife?
Is she still running the laundry business
for him?
She was too young for him.
She took a lover and hurt Andy.
She was a virgin when Andy married her.
She was asking Andy to divorce her.
She wanted out.
But Andy didn't want to give her
half of his assets.
He kept her.
Andy cooked dinner for me.
Andy let me stay free in his house.
Andy bought a guitar for me.
Andy paid for my guitar lesson.
Andy taught Greek alphabets to me.
Andy couldn't read when he was serving
in the army during World War II,
but he kept reading the English newspaper
he was receiving regularly.
He kept reading without understanding.
One day, he could understand the English words
in the newspaper.
He wanted me ? ? ? ? the same with the
Greek alphabets.
· ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ¹ ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ·
I met Robert the librarian.
I was a member of the movie viewer society
which showed me the grewsome movie
about the nuclear bombing on the Pacific Island
by the United States.
Nobody knew about it.
The islanders were treated by the Americans
in the American soil and
they slowly died away.
Their home land is still contaminated
by the nuclear acid and
their children are being born deformed.
But nobody knows about it.
I know for I have seen the documentary movie.
'Why are you going to America?'
My guitar lesson tutor is 18 years old,
he is wondering why I was going to America.
'It is a very dangerous country,
most people own guns.
He thought I would be killed
if I went to America.
I took the guitar lessons
for Andy encouraged me to.
He took me to a music shop and
bought a nice acoustic guitar for me
to start lessons with.
I need to get the guitar from Jeff.
I left it behind when I left
New Mexico.
He said he will mail it to me
along with the boots he wanted to give to me
and the audio tapes I used to record
all the lectures in my
Deaf Education classes.
'Maybe sometime in spring I will do it.'
Yes, spring will be here soon.
This spring is a new beginning for me,
finally got out of mother's controlling grips
after years of struggling with them;
after all 7 years of living
as a human vegetable...!
('What a bum...!')
(Mother thinks I should be working)
with no husband to support me)
no family to support me.)
(I spent 7 years doing nothing but
taking medications and sleeping.)
('You only need to take medications for three more years.')
(My psychiatrist promised me that I only need
to take medicines three more years
and nothing after that
but on the day when it was exactly three years,
he had forgotten about it completely
and subscribed me more medicines.)
(Since then,I stopped taking medicines
permanently.)
Sangnam Nam currently teaches at a Catholic college in Korea. She earned her B.A. in English and M.A. in Reading, and has taught in many schools, including Las Cruces public schools. Her favorite authors include "Hesse, Kafka, Poe, Joyce and the Brownings." (June 2008)