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In Search of Naked Famous People
There I was at a nude resort nestled in a canyon near Los Angeles. The grounds were breathtakingly beautiful. The hot tub was perched on the highest peak of the area and
overlooked a view of the mountains that could make an eagle cry.
But it wasn't nature that I was there to see, at least not that kind. I had been told movie stars ranging from Tom Selleck to Helen Hunt hung out there, and by God, I wanted to
know if the rich really are different from you and me.
Besides, I was a tourist, so I wanted to do what tourists do--see movie stars.
Now, I have to tell you. Nudism, to me, is no big deal. I've attended numerous nudist parks and beaches over the past twenty years and on most warm weekends my wife and I
can be found at a nudist camp near our home. So I'm not one of your typical voyeurs. I'm a specialist. I was there to peek at naked famous people, not just your ordinary
ones.
Let's face it. The thrill of seeing ordinary people naked ends pretty quickly. Those women in Playboy are genetic freaks of nature. And the men, well let's just say that even in
the film, Boogie Nights, they had to use a prosthetic device for the final scene.
Most of us sag, droop and flop like flags on a windy day. However, I was in California, and I wanted to see perfection!
And there were some beautiful people there. Not many but some. Sadly, they stood out, much as they do at any other park.
I did overhear one interesting bit of dialogue that I figure could only be uttered in California and apparently involved an almost famous person.
A young man in his twenties, tanned and naked, walked up to a fortyish-looking woman and asked, "Aren't you so and so of the blankety-blank agency?"
Now you have to remember, the woman, nude, is lying on her back and the young man is standing over her. Naked. "You interviewed me for the such and such project."
I couldn't hear all of the conversation, but the woman recognized him, and these two totally naked people discussed business as if they were lunching at a local cafe. Talk about
unadorned networking!
It was all pleasant enough but apparently no famous people were on display, so I began packing my towel and tanning lotion when I spotted two young women, pointing and
smiling in my direction.
I guess I still have it, I said to myself as they walked towards me.
"Gutt ahftanoon," one of them said in a thick accent I took to be German. It took a while, but I finally realized after much difficulty that they were convinced I was Kenny
Rogers. And they wanted a picture of me (aka Kenny) with them, so they could go back home and show their friends that they met someone famous.
So if you happen to come across a site on the Internet claiming to contain pictures of Kenny Rogers, naked, romping with two nude women, don't get excited. It's only me and
my two new friends.
It was the least I could do for them since I understood how thrilled they were at seeing a famous person in the flesh.
Wayne Scheer After twenty-five years of college teaching, Wayne Scheer retired to follow his own advice and write. His work has appeared in The Christian Science Monitor, Pedestal Magazine, Art and Understanding, Laughter Loaf and The Better Drink. His writing awards include a Pushcart Prize nomination. Wayne lives in Atlanta and can be contacted at wvscheer@aol.com.
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