How many people have ever considered the implications of practicing nursing in the U.S. desert southwest? What could possibly be different about nursing in the southwest, you ask? There are plenty of things that we have to worry about that might not be in the forefront of the minds of nurses elsewhere. Well, dehydration is quite a bit more plentiful throughout the year here than elsewhere. This can worsen conditions like Bronchitis during the winter (when central heating robs moisture from the air) and heat stroke in the summertime. There are also a bevy of natural killers that roam the region. Hanta virus (that can kill you in four days as opposed to Ebola's ten days) has been found here, Tuberculosis hasn't been completely erradicated and neither has the Bubonic Plague. We're also in cattle country so if Mad Cow Disease ever throws a shoot our way, the southwest will probably be a hot spot! When you throw all of that on top of the indigenous poisonous reptiles and insects and the high poverty/unemployment rate, high teen suicide rate and high rate of DWI fatalities you begin to see how nursing in the southwest can be an adventure that few may be ready for. For those of you who are still interested in obtaining a degree in nursing or a nursing job in New Mexico(I can't talk for the other southwestern states), here is a shortquiz to see if you're physically, emotionally and psychologically prepared to live in the desert southwest.

The "Am-I-Crazy-Enough-To-Live-In-New Mexico" Quiz

byPsYcHo NuRsE

1. When I go on vacation, I like to: A. Pack plenty of skimpy clothing for tanning B. wear a bratwurst in my swim trucks to attract the ladies at the beach. C. pack a snake bite kit, big hats, pounds of zinc oxide and enough water to drown a mule in addition to cameras, camcorders, rifles and handguns, a tent, a sleeping bag and provisions for a week.	2. I like my food: A. purŽed and served in tubes by half-naked dental hygenists with Nancy Reagan hairdos. B. boiled. C. with enough garlic to kill a horse, enough onions to choke a bull and spicy enough to take the paint off a 1958 Cadillac sedan.
3. Huevos con Chorizo is: A. A Mexican dance where virgins dance around a wide brimmed hat screaming, "Brincamos a el chorizo? Which translates roughly to, "We are ready to get married." B. A Mexican television show somewhat similar to The Lone Ranger starring Huevos, a courageous young ranchero, and his pal Chorizo, an aging and obese porn star, detailing their zany exploits in rural Mexico. C. A breakfast meal made with eggs and the spicy, hot Mexican sausage.	4. My idea of a great day is: A. A late breakfast followed by an afternoon of shopping in trendy stores, dinner at a top notch restraurant and wrapped up with a night at the symphony and a stay in a ritzy hotel. B. Any day that I don't find an excess of blood in my underwear. C. A family reunion complete with Mexican food, beer, good friends and good guitar music. Ê
5. The state of Texas is: A. A gigantic piece of land stolen at gunpoint from Mexico by a bunch of pasty white guys whose legacies were imortalized by their death at the Alamo. B. A foreign country overly concerned with size where the language and customs are rarely understood by anyone who isn't rich or into tons of money from oil profits. C. Both of the above.	6. The Border Patrol is: A. An armed department of the U.S. government created to give ethnocentric rednecks a chance to protect the U.S. from the huddled masses spoken of in the inscription on the Statue of Liberty. B. always justifying soaking up HUGE amounts of taxpayers dollars by busting an occasional drug smuggler whose profits are a mere drop in the bucket compared to the Border Patrol's annual budget. C. Both of the above.
7. Santa Fe is: A. A tourist trap invaded and settled by large groups of trendy new age rich people from the east and west coasts to the point that they've raised the property taxes enough that the indigenous people can't afford to live there any longer. B. the capital of New Mexico. C. Both of the above.	8. Native Americans in New Mexico: A. are a bunch of uneducated drunks who live off of welfare and buy their liquor off of the sales of their quaint turquoise jewelry. B. all run casinos, drive Cadillacs or expensive Dodge Ram pickups and make their money off of tourists through the ski resorts they own. C. suffer from as many fictitious and ethnocentric stereotypes as do the Mexican-Americans in New Mexico.
9. The best treatment for snakebite is: A. cut an X-shaped incision over the bite and suck out the poison. B. run around in circles praying to God and begging for his intervention. C. to pull your head out of your ass and pay enough attention that you don't get bitten by a snake in the first place.	10. To prevent skin cancer it's a good idea to: A. make sure I don't drink enough to pass out by the poolside during peak hours of sunlight. B. Limit my tanning time to one hour a day and make sure to put plenty of suntan lotion on. C. Forget about tanning, wear long sleeve shirts in the summertime and wide-brimmed hats much like the migrant farm workers who spend at least ten hours a day in the blistering sun for minimum wage.
11. Hanta virus is most often spread by: A. Having sex with New Mexicans. B. Retirees with lots of money traveling all over the southwest in Airstream trailers. C. Stirring up the droppings of infected rodents while sweeping out storage sheds, porches, garages, etc.	12. I would like to live in New Mexico because: A. I'm independantly rich and the fact that New Mexico is the second WORST place in the country to raise a child, and that the average annual salary is only $14,000 a year doesn't bother me. B. I'm independantly rich and retired and I'd like to take advantage of the overabundance of cheap labor, cheap arts and crafts and inexpensive land (but high costs of living) there. C. Forget it! There are enough friggin' weirdos in New Mexico!

If you answered " C "to most of the above questions then you are a likely candidate to live inNew Mexico. If you answered eitherAorB then please stay in Idaho and forget about living incolorful(but dangerous)
New Mexico.