Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947), an English mathematician and philosopher, observed, "Ninety percent of our lives is governed by emotion, and our brains merely register and act upon what is telegraphed to them by our bodily experience." Emotions can be either positive or negative, but they are a powerful energizing force that drives us either forward or backward in life. Emotions under control can accomplish much good; emotions out of control can inflict much harm, both on ourselves and everything around us. As Whitehead rightly noted, we tend to act upon and act out what we are feeling; our actions manifest our attitudes. Jesus stated it this way: "For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person" (Mark 7:21-23, ESV). There are many such negative and harmful emotions that we could examine, but one of these inner forces with which we all struggle at times, and which, unfortunately, is too often infrequently and insufficiently pondered, is bitterness.

I came across a saying recently that rings very true: "Bitterness does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than the vessel on which it is poured." Bitterness is a toxic emotion, and the Bible has much to say about it. And rightly so, for a bitter heart will lead you down a pathway bound only for self-destruction. Lee Strobel wrote, "The medical evidence is clear and mounting. It's no exaggeration to say that bitterness is a dangerous drug in any dosage and that your very health is at risk if you stubbornly persist in it." Maya Angelou stated, "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host." Nelson Mandela rightly observed, "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." Billy Graham said, "We must face honestly the toll that bitterness takes on our lives. It is our enemy!" The apostle Paul advised, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" (Ephesians 4:31, NIV). In writing to the Roman brethren, Paul discussed the nature of the unrighteous, describing them, among other things, as people whose "throats are an open grave, with tongues that keep deceiving; the poison of asps is under their lips; whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness; whose feet are swift to shed blood; destruction and misery are in their paths, and the path of peace they have not known" (Romans 3:13-17). In this passage we perceive not only the fact of bitterness being embedded within the heart, but the result of that fact as well. Nothing good comes of it.

What is even more tragic for all concerned is the human tendency to rationalize these negative emotions. "I have a right to be upset; I have a right to be bitter! Look what they've done to me! They've been unfair! LIFE has been unfair! GOD has been unfair! So, you betcha I'm bitter, and justifiably so!!" In this way one excuses one's bitterness, and then later excuses his/her actions against the one with whom he or she is embittered. "They had it coming! It was all their fault." The psychological escape for the embittered is to assign unto anyone and everyone else the cause of and reason for their emotional response. "Yes, I'm upset!! You made me that way!!" Job had had enough! He was discouraged and bitter ... and he was beginning to assign the blame to God. "I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul" (Job 7:11). Why? Because "YOU frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions" (vs. 14) ... "YOU examine man every morning and try him every moment" (vs. 18) ... "Will YOU never turn YOUR gaze away from me, nor let me alone?! ... What have I done to YOU, O watcher of men? Why have YOU set me as YOUR target, so that I am a burden to myself?" (vs. 19-20). "HE bruises me with a tempest and multiplies my wounds without cause. HE will not allow me to get my breath, but saturates me with bitterness. ... If it is not HE, then who is it?!" (Job 9:17-18, 24). "I will give full vent to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God, 'Let me know why YOU contend with me. Is it right for YOU indeed to oppress?'" (Job 10:1-3). In other words, Job is bitter, and he can only surmise that the cause is GOD's treatment of him. And, frankly, Job has somewhat of a point here! But, that is a topic for another discussion, for Job only sees part of the bigger picture, and God is not obligated to consult with a mere man as He exercises His sovereignty in the universe, a reality which does at times (in our dealings with our God) leave us struggling with our emotions.

• "Job acknowledges this sentiment as bitterness. He goes beyond asking God why something had happened, to implying that God is out of line for it. These sentiments of being abused by God, and that it would have been better to have never been born, are hallmarks of a bitter spirit. Bitterness is an all-consuming emotion that becomes the primary measuring stick against which every aspect of life is held, and found unacceptable. Job's sorrow turned to bitterness because he began to compare himself and his life to others he deemed less worthy of blessings, turning his heart against his God. He laments his life, wishing he had never been born. These strong sentiments keep the individual stuck there, meditating only on these negative aspects of life" [John Piper, "What is a Root of Bitterness?" - April 1, 1997 - DesiringGod.org].

Yes, the world can indeed be a cold and harsh place to live, and life isn't always fair. You will at times be treated unjustly; you will not be appreciated on occasion, perhaps even by those you love. This hurts. We've all been there. The danger is: this can leave us discouraged, which can lead to a state of bitterness and even despair. These are common human emotions each of us must learn to deal with in life, and some do so better than others. The danger, of course, is that we may become "stuck" in these negative states, and that can quickly result in harm to both ourselves and to others. This is where we can be of help to one another: looking out for one another, and seeking to encourage those who are becoming bitter. "See to it that no one misses out on God’s grace, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and thus contaminates many" (Hebrews 12:15, Complete Jewish Bible). The Message reads: "Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time." Bitterness is like a buried root, unseen, that nevertheless evidences itself in the fruit it eventually bears. If a bitter spirit is rooted in our hearts, that root will in time motivate us to manifest harmful attitudes and acts against others, which will do as much damage to ourselves as it will to them. Thus, the warning by the writer of Hebrews 12:15 to be constantly on our guard that no such "root of bitterness" is allowed to spring up among the people of God.

Bitterness is "a state of extreme vexation of mind; implacableness; resentfulness" [Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary]. It can turn us against others, and against God, and against life itself. It can be deadly. It is a fearful emotional state, and examples of it can be found all through the Scriptures. A good example is found in the OT book of Ruth. Naomi had experienced some major losses and disappointments in life, and these circumstances had led her to become bitter against God. "The hand of the Lord has gone forth against me" (Ruth 1:13). She even changed her name, as a result of this! "Do not call me 'Naomi;' call me 'Mara,' for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why do you call me 'Naomi,' since the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?" (Ruth 1:20-21). The name "Naomi" means "pleasant," and the name "Mara" means "bitter." This woman had become bitter, and, like Job, she believed God to be the cause. "When trials come, there will be emotions that accompany them. When someone allows those emotions to distort the individual's view of God, that person is beginning to allow bitterness to take over. ... Naomi allowed her understandable grief to morph into a root of bitterness. Rather than leaning on God for comfort, she sees Him as the source of her problem. Yet, God uses a distant relative Boaz and her daughter-in-law Ruth to restore happiness and a family line to Naomi's life. In fact, that line would eventually include the Messiah. Ruth's commitment to staying with Naomi serves as an example for friends and family of someone struggling with bitterness. She remained patient, loyal, and loving!" [Bethany Verrett, "How Does the Bible Say We Should Respond to Bitterness?" - March 28, 2023 - BibleStudyTools.com].

• Hannah, the mother of Samuel, is another great example of a woman who was struggling with what she perceived as unfair circumstances in her life, and it was leading her to a state of bitterness. "I am a woman oppressed in spirit" (1 Samuel 1:15). Hannah was unable to have a child, and "her rival would provoke her bitterly to irritate her, because the Lord had closed her womb. It happened year after year, as often as she went up to the house of the Lord, she would provoke her; so she wept and would not eat" (vs. 6-7). Hannah, "being greatly distressed, prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly" (vs. 10). God used Eli to give hope to Hannah, however, and Hannah took comfort in the knowledge that the Lord would bless her. "So she went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad" (vs. 18). My mother taught a ladies' Bible class on Hannah many years ago, focusing on this aspect of bitterness, and I shared that class in one of my Reflections articles (Issue #271 - "My Friend Hannah" by Mary Maxey).

The story of Hannah illustrates the power of the principle stated at the top of this Reflections by Baruch Spinoza: "An emotion can only be restrained by an emotion stronger than and contrary to itself." Hannah was discouraged and growing bitter; Eli gave her HOPE, and that emotion overcame the others. In like manner, Naomi had gone from "pleasant" to "bitter," but Ruth gave her LOVE, and that emotion eventually triumphed. The secret to overcoming such negative emotions as bitterness and despair is for us to look out for one another, love one another, encourage one another, and give hope to one another. We need each other, and all the more as the forces of darkness in this fallen world array themselves against us. Faith, hope, and love are powerful, positive emotional and spiritual realities, and if we help one another grow in them, we can reduce the impact of the harmful negativism generated by the forces of darkness. Paul gives this advice to husbands and fathers in Colossians 3:19, 21 - "Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them" (NASB) ... "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged" (NIV).

There are many people in this world, and this may include ourselves at times, who are like Simon the sorcerer, of whom Peter said, "I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin" (Acts 8:23). When our hearts become captive to negative emotions, our lives become captive to sinful behaviors. To his credit, Simon asked Peter, "Pray to the Lord for me so that nothing you have said may happen to me" (vs. 24). We must look to God for relief, and we must look out for one another, praying for one another, uplifting and encouraging one another, loving one another! Pastor David Guzik, in his Enduring Word Commentary, wrote the following insight on the Hebrews 12:15 passage: "Many are corrupted because of bitterness towards someone they feel has wronged them, and they hold on to the bitterness with amazing stubbornness. What they must do is remember the grace of God extended to them, and start extending that grace towards others - loving the undeserving." Harry Emerson Fosdick (1878-1969) observed, "Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes." I like the attitude of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He stated, "As my sufferings mounted, I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation - either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course." Let me leave you with the words of Max Lucado, and may his resolve be ours: "I choose love. No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness, I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves." AMEN.

From a Reader in Washington:

Al, on the topic of LGBTQ, have you preached on this subject or written an article about it? Have you heard a person who is gay ever say, "I was born this way," and if so, what is your response? It seems society is twisting this subject all around, saying that God loves those who are gay and is okay with their chosen lifestyle. It even seems to be accepted in some denominations, which now have gay ministers. What are your thoughts? Thank you so much!

• We are all fallen men and women; we are all sinners. Yet, God loved us enough, even while we were yet sinners, that He sent His Son to redeem us. Thus, God loves them just as much as He loves me, but in both our cases, He calls us to reformation and transformation: to be more holy and less like the world about us. The Lord loves us, but He is not okay with any of us continuing to pursue a life opposed to His revealed will for us. As for the nature/nurture debate, I believe both can play a role, yet neither should be used to excuse how we choose to live our lives. Yes, I have heard some declare they were "born this way," and I have also heard a good many of them vow not to give in to a lifestyle they truly believe God opposes. I have addressed this whole matter in several of my studies, which I would encourage everyone to carefully consider. On May 24, 2007, I sent out a Special Request to my Reflections readers in which I sought their input on this topic. I urge you to read this request prior to reading the following articles: "The Nature/Nurture Dilemma: A Reflective, Respectful Response to Saints Struggling with Homosexuality" (Reflections #305) and "Letter to a Homosexual Couple: How Would Our Lord Have Us Respond to Those Engaged in an Anti-Biblical Lifestyle?" (Reflections #668). I hope that these two studies will prove helpful to the reader who asked the above questions. -- Al Maxey

From a Minister in Tennessee:

Dear Al, for years I have had the privilege of reading your Reflections articles. I must say that when I began that task, I did not agree with most of what you wrote, and I felt you were an outlaw in the Lord's church. I am probably still stuck in that mode, although over the years I have disagreed less with many of the topics you've covered. Al, you continue to challenge my thinking, and even when I don't appreciate it, I am glad that you do! I just wanted to write and tell you this, and to urge you to keep on writing. It makes us think, even when we disagree.

From a Reader on the Island of Barbados:

Al, I have mulled over Revelation 13:10 in light of what you presented in your article titled, "A Reassuring Retribution: In-Depth Study of Revelation 13:10" (Reflections #883). I must say, however, that I am none the more enlightened. Hopefully, as time goes on, a little more understanding will come to me concerning these difficult passages. Nonetheless, I believe that such passages make for meaningful and healthy interaction. Thanks again for your Reflections article on this passage, brother Al.

From a Reader in California:

Al, I've not written to you in many months, but I still enjoy your Reflections! I have been listening to the series on Revelation from the North Coast Church in north San Diego county. It is possibly the best exposition I've heard on the book. They are taking the approach of teaching what is revealed in the book and not chasing theories and theologies on what is concealed in the book. They are being very honest with the text (as you always are), and it's been a blessing. John says there is a blessing in "hearing" the words of the letter. A few years ago, on my way back from a burial over in Los Angeles (about a hundred miles from our mortuary, plus LA traffic in general), I put on a Bible app on my phone and listened to Revelation all the way through. It made such a difference in understanding this letter. Keep up the good work, Al. You have been preaching almost 50 years now!! I preached for 35 years, and I am now in my 20th year of ministry in the context of a Christian owned mortuary. I miss teaching, but this is an incredibly satisfying ministry (and I don't have to attend elders' meetings!!). Blessings to you, my brother!

From a Reader in Ottawa, Canada:

Al, I've just come back from Türkiye, where the Revelation takes place. What seems to be draconian, incomprehensible text becomes eminently wise in light of the culture of that time. John was writing about a society he knew well, and in which he lived. The culture under Rome was familiar to him, and all of the images in Revelation make sense in that light. What I continue to find fascinating is that not only did John skillfully weave the culture of his time into the apocalypse, but he did so using the Old Testament writings he had memorized as a youth. Let me share with you the following YouTube sermon that might help: "Context at its Finest" by Marty Solomon of Southeast Christian Church. Al, I'm still grateful for the hard work you put in, and I delight to read the products of that hard work. Thanks again for your contributions to the church. I rejoice to hear from you whenever these Reflections articles go out. Blessings to you and your household.

From a Reader in Texas:

Please add me to your Reflections mailing list. My husband has been receiving your articles for years, and he was very excited recently to read your following study: "The Sinner's Prayer: A Reflective Examination" (Reflections #373). Thank you, and blessings to you.

From a Reader in South Carolina:

Hello Al. I extremely appreciate this new issue of your Reflections ("A Reassuring Retribution"). I really enjoy studying Revelation, and I thank you for your insight on this passage in Revelation 13:10. Every tidbit of knowledge we gain from others just improves our overall understanding of Scripture. Please continue your outstanding work for the Kingdom of God.

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