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Columbus
NM



Exclusive Interview with Lotti
World Champion Ass Racer

Squirrel: Well Miss Lotti, how does it feel to be the new champion?

Lotti: Oh I just love it, I feel wonderful.

Squirrel: How did you train in order to complete this grueling test of endurance?

Lotti: Oh, I went to the gym everyday. My instructor there, Juan, competed a lot in Mexico on the desert and he was able to help me immensely. Without his help I would have been lost.

Squirrel: Well, congratulations again. Can you tell me why you think Isaac stopped just before crossing over the finish line?

Lotti: Well, you know Isaac is a real GentleASS. Maybe he was afraid of the line in the middle of the street.

Squirrel: Come on Lotti, you know all the hardships that he passed through during the past fourteen years.

Lotti: Ya, maybe your right. You know I had been following his ASS all day, maybe he wanted to follow mine for a change.

Squirrel: Lotti, did you promise Issac favors if he allowed you to win?

Lotti: Certainly not, I would not Sit on my ASS for a low trick like that.

Squirrel: I thought you would not, but I had to ask. I have one more question before I leave, did you stop anywhere (either you or Isaac) before you finished the race?

Lotti:Wellllll, once. Promise not to tell anyone?

Squirrel: On a stack of walnuts near my fathers grave in the Tree House, I promise not to tell a soul.

Las Cruces, NM. Lotti: Welllll, then, Isaac said his bones were getting sore, and that we could take a shortcut through Palomas in Mexico and get some lineament in the Drug Store there.







Squirrel: Really, well how about the Judges?

Palomas, Mexico. Lotti: That was easy, we just dropped them off in the corner saloon, and by the time we were ready to leave they didn't know their ASS from a Hole in the Ground.







Squirrel: Did Isaac get his medicine alright?

Lotti: As far as I know, I stayed with the Judges until his return.

Squirrel: Well thank you very much, you have been so helpful and congratulations again.

Thus I concluded my interview with Lotti. She winked at me as she walked out the door saying "Have a nice day". The Nose finish in that race was getting spicer by the moment. Each question brought more questions with very few answers.