The PPDRDG Commissariate of Repatriation
'Your Sailor is Coming Home'
Our official letter to warn the families and friends
of the imminent release of one of our
"Guests" from their "Vacation" on Diego Garcia...
Thanks to Tom Lawson,
Class of '79, for this letter!
o.k..... now we ask you..... do you really want him home???
Sadly, Tom has crossed the bar...
And Now For Something Completely
Missing almost entirely from this site is information of a religious nature.
But, thanks to Chaplain Dave, here's something that actually works (trust me):
The Chaplain’s Corner from The Tropical Times
September 1, 2006
Ten Commandments of Return and Reunion
From a Chaplain Who Asked To Remain Anonymous on This Website
But Was A Real Chaplain For NAVSUPPFAC, Diego Garcia, in 2006
I. Thou Shalt Expect Thy Homecoming to be Stressful. Stress is a reaction to change and even positive change can be stressful. Both sides idealize what the reunion will be like, which often causes disappointment.
Out of hardship and separation come unrealistic expectations. Men dream about driving their car or motorcycle, eating home cooked meals, spending time with the kids and of course SEX. While she’s dreaming about you fixing everything that has broken. Neither of you are likely to live up to the other’s expectations.
II. Thou Shall Enjoy be an Invited Guest in Thy Own Home. Your spouse and children have learned to manage without you. Your spouse has learned to be more independent running the household as a single parent.
You may feel threatened by your spouse’s newfound independence and you may feel unwanted in your own home. Realize that both of you have grown and changed personally, in order to survive the deployment. Allow your family to continue functioning as they have been, while you were deployed. Take things slowly and make changes even more slowly. Your family has been planning for your return for a long time, be patient, act like a guest and let them celebrate your return the way they have planned for it.
III. Thou Shalt Not Criticize Thy Spouse Upon Thy Return. Your spouse has done the best job they could. Your job is to provide praise, encourage and thanks. Don’t get caught up in the “Who Had It Worse Game.” If your children are still alive, your spouse has done a great job! If you look for ways your spouse could have done better, you’ll soon be looking for a marriage counselor. Your spouse held your family together and deserves your thanks.
IV. Thou Shalt Change Whether You Want to or Not. Change is an inevitable fact of life & it’s good. Deployment & “Return & Reunion” takes both husband and wife out of their comfort zones. It takes energy to adjust to change even if it’s a positive change. Things will never be the same as they were before the deployment, you have both changed in positive ways in order to survive the separation. Your lives will be different.
V. Thou Shalt Spend Quality Time with Thy Children. Children equate love with time. The more time you spend with them, the more they’ll feel loved by you. Spend time with your children as a group and individually. Each child has a tremendous need to feel special to their parents. Children idolize their parents, you are a hero to them. Children become unruly during times of change. Let your spouse
continue to be the primary disciplinarian & gradually share this role over time. Don’t let your child’s 1st memory of your return be one where you’re spanking them. They’ll remember that for the rest of their lives. Tell your children that you love them and back
it up with time spent with them and affection.
VI. Thou Shalt not Treat Thy Spouse Like a One-Night-Stand. Both of you have been looking forward to this reunion for a long time, treat each other with love, consideration, & tenderness. Intimacy is a wonderful thing, treat your spouse with respect, compassion and kindness. Kindness and respect go a long way toward re-kindling romance.
VII. Thou Shalt Compromise Thy Social Activities for the 1st Few Weeks. You’ve made new friends during the deployment and you’ll want to spend some time with them afterwards, but don’t neglect spending time alone with your family. Resist the urge to spend the first few weeks home engaged in social events that leave you exhausted and unable to spend time with your spouse and children.
VIII. Thou Shalt Watch Thy Money. Some of you’ve become rich on deployment and now you face the temptation of celebrating your reunion by going on a spending spree. Expensive new toys for you and your children will quickly leave you ‘busted’ and angry. Avoid overspending, buy only what you need. If you charge more to your credit card than you can pay off in a month, over time the interest will make it just like buying the item twice.
IX. Thou Shalt Confess to a Chaplain. Some of you may have sins that you need to confess. See a Chaplain before you confess to your spouse everything that you did on deployment. If you feel guilty and need to confess your sins, go see a chaplain, civilian clergy or counselor first then we can meet with your spouse together.
X. Thou Shalt Give Thy Time, Talent, and Treasures to Thy Family. During deployments many households maintain separate bank accounts to manage the finances, which can be a good idea. Don’t try to change things too quickly. It may take months before family finances begin to flow smoothly again.
If Thou Practices Thy “10 Commandments Of Return & Reunion”
Thou Shalt Have A Wonderful Return & Reunion!
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