Unhappy? Feeling Put-Upon?  Cry yourself to sleep at night?
Having to work long hours for an ungrateful Supervisor?
Not getting the respect you are entitled to?
The Provisional Peoples' Democratic Republic of Diego Garcia
Sensitivity Awareness Directorate Offers the Following: 

OSD Form 22-102
"Hurt Feelings Report"

Is your Chief/Gunny/Flight Sergeant giving you shit you don't think is right?  Well, the Office of the Secretary of Defense has a solution!  Report them to "the right people" and burn them good.  No proof of abuse is required, just your accusation!  Nothing could be easier; nothing works faster than a complaint that your feelings have been hurt, justifiably or not!

Here's the OSD Form 22-102 you've been looking for!  Just download it, fill it out, and turn it in to any Officer above the rank of O-2 and your problems will be resolved!

HURT FEELINGS REPORT For use of this form, see Department of Defense Manual 22-102; the proponent agency is

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: 5 USC 301, Departmental Regulations; PRINCIPAL PURPOSE: To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings, and to provide leaders with a list of Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airpeople who require additional counseling, NCO leadership, and/or extra duty.. ROUTINE USES: For subordinate leader development IAW DoDM 22-102. Leaders & whiners should use this form as necessary. DISCLOSURE: Disclosure is voluntary, but repeated disclosure may result in a OSD Form 779-1A, Report of Wall To Wall Counseling

PART I – ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER’S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. RANK/GRADE

C. SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. ORGANIZATION

F. NAME & TITLE OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II – INCIDENT REPORT

A. PERSONS INVOLVED IN INCIDENT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL INCIDENT

D. NCO OR OFFICER SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER

E. NAME OF REAL MAN/WOMAN WHO HURT YOUR FEELINGS

F. RANK/GRADE

G. ORGANIZATION (if different from 1e above)

B. INJURY (Mark all that apply)

1. WHICH EAR WERE THE WORDS OF HURTFULNESS SPOKEN INTO?  □ LEFT              □ RIGHT                            □ BOTH

2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE? □ YES                           □ NO                                         □ MAYBE

3. DID YOU REQUIRE A “TISSUE” FOR TEARS? □ YES                              □ NO               □ MULTIPLE ________

4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY? □ YES                           □ NO                                         □ MAYBE

C. REASON FOR FILING THIS REPORT (Mark all that apply)

I am thin skinned

The Generals/Admirals need to fix my problem

It was raining/snowing too hard

I am a wimp

My feelings are easily hurt

My hands should be in my pockets

I have a problem with my hormones

I didn't sign up for this

I was not offered a formal apology

I am a crybaby

I was told that I am not a hero

They don’t know what I’m going through

I want my mommy

The weather was too cold/hot

All of the above and more

D. NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt.)

PART III ‐ AUTHENTICATION

a. PRINTED NAME OF REAL MAN/WOMAN

b. SIGNATURE

c. PRINTED NAME OF WHINER

d. SIGNATURE

We, as the Department of Defense, take hurt feelings seriously.  If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" from the appropriate Armed Service to you ASAP.  In the event we are unable to find a "hugger" we will notify the nearest fire department and request that they send fire personnel to your location. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to provide you with a "blankey", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

OSD Form 22-102f, 15 October 2012.  Previous Editions Will Be Used Until Stock is Exhausted.