The PPDRDG Department of Official State
and Carefully Guarded Information Presents:
A Wikid-Leak Scoop!
Operation DESTROY ENERGY
Thanks to our mole in the very heart of the Imperial Government in London, we have uncovered a dastardly scheme to destroy the entire energy resources of the peaceful agro-aquatic community of Diego Garcia! Without any consultation with the public, the pseudo-civilian side of Her Majesty the Queen's government, or the inummerable experts who know exactly what you should think about every conceivable subject, despite having never been to the Lesser Dependencies. Suffice it to say that The War Mongers of The Admiralty have devised a blueprint for the complete and total disruption of all peaceful fossil-fuel-powered activities in the Central Indian Ocean!
Found hidden deep inside a nondiscript ledger discovered in the bowels of the Admiralty's notorious and mysterious "archives", our brave freedom fighter comrades uncovered the classified documents we've brought into the light of day in this publication! As can be seen, the Commander-in-Chief of the East India Station has usurpt the power of the Crown itself and unilaterally decided to take matters into his own hands should "war" breakout (euphemisms abound in this cleverly encrypted document).
What will happen to the Peaceful
Natives? What will happen to the Fish of
The Sea? What will happen to those who
have already died securing government secrets
and underhanded plots? If we loose coal,
we've lost it all! As we all know, aside
from some wonderfully flavorful smoke, coal is
the most environmentally friendly fuel in the
world! To deny it to our brothers and
sisters on the islands simply to keep it from
falling into the hands of the likes of Otto von
Bismark, The Hun, is ludicrous and inhumane!
There must be an
end to this deception and deceit! Join us in
opposing the Forces of Intrigue, whether you are
disguised as you rumble down the street in your
horseless carriage, or surreptitiously sneaking
around testing for open and unlocked doors and
windows! You job, should you care to accept
it, is to carefully steal, and then conceal from
your supervisors, all the classified documents you
can find, regarding any subject, or any time-line,
and send them to us, Wikid-Leaks, East Wing, 6th
Floor, Room 123, McLean, VA, 20102, attn: Anyone
Without a Silencer on His Glock. Remember to
mail them in a plain brown envelope, tied
carefully with kite string. . . but, be sure
to put your full name and an address where we can
find you at night inside.
Did you note that Mr. Hyde Jekyll signed this nefarious work? It sounds like something that might come out of a mad scientists lab, doesn't it?
Also, did you ever notice that coconut crabs are really just humongous insects of some sort?
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This, and everything else I write and every photo I produce is copyrighted by Ted A. Morris, Jr.