Not every battle in the GWOT involves fanatical Muslims. Sometimes, it becomes necessary to resolve conflicts with your brothers and sisters in arms. The following was received from "Stretch" a B-52 Crew Dog (name withheld to protect his identity) as proof positive that shit happens. It was received by the PROPEOPDEMREP Ministry of Propaganda in typical Pentagon Format (Power Point) and has been modified to fit these pages...
SLIDE 1 (TEXT ONLY): Wing Attack Plan Romeo
SLIDE 14 (TEXT ONLY): RESULTS
SLIDE 18 (TEXT ONLY): RANSOM
In your correspondence, you made note of many things, such as how mysterious you are, how we would never know your identity, and how you take care of us on a regular basis. Well, despite the fact that we eat chow within six feet of some of you, despite the fact that you included a picture of one of your thieves in the photographs, and despite the fact that unselfish inter-service cooperation has been a factor in military existence since 1779, you had several intersting points.
One of these fascinating observations was the fact that we started this friendly exchange of stealing property, as in the case of your Butthead Man. Far be it from us to correct the people that provide us with everything that sustains our life, but that was taken far before our current squadron arrived on the island. Another great tidbit was the deman to fork over $65 worth of alcohol for $10 worth of coconuts. If it were up to some of us, we would have bought the booze for ourselves and freamed the ensuing pictures of destruction next to the ridiculous e-mail in our bar. We especially love the photograph of the bald, mustachioed, and very mysterious man holding the coconuts in front of the naval facility. We call him Captain Smiley.
Sadly the Devil needs his Nuts, he
will not return home without them. We
shall not rest until the coconuts are back in
our possession. The stipulations for the
exchange have been discussed at a higher level
and we have eagerly tried to meet your
In closing, avast ye hearty mateys, and swab those decks with pride.
Sweepers, sweepers, man the brooms!
4) Elev 10'
5) 41R QQ 704452 89381
6) 1100' x 600'
7) 50 km to the south
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This, and everything else I write and every photo I produce is copyrighted by Ted A. Morris, Jr.