“Christmas Mediation 4pm”      2011

 

Around the year 1521, a Spanish soldier named Ignatius

            was severely wounded by a cannon ball passing between his legs.

During his long, bed-ridden recovery,

            there was little to read other than religious materials,

                        and he became fascinated with trying to imagine

                                    what it might like to be present and experience

                                                events of the Bible, from the life of Christ.

 

This mystic approach to reading and experiencing Scripture

            developed into a series of meditations that became known as,

                        “The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola”.

 

Ignatius went on to found the Jesuits, the Society of Jesus,

            and this style of meditation, in which you try to imagine

                        that you are present and able to experience and interact

                                    within a story or event from the Bible

                                                    is a defining characteristic and exercise

                                                            of Jesuit mysticism and spirituality.

 

One of my courses in seminary

            was on Church history and ancient spiritual practices à

 

            during which a Jesuit priest and spiritual director agreed

                        to teach us about the spiritual exercises of Ignatius,

                                    by guiding us through some sample meditations

                                                over a weekend at a Catholic retreat center.

 

The way it worked,

            was that we would read and discuss a Bible passage together,

                        and the priest would suggest some techniques and offer

                                    some perspectives on the text  for us to consider.

 

Then we would go out alone to a quiet and secluded place,

            to meditate and contemplate for the next several hours.

Eventually, he would ring a loud bell,

            and we’d return to talk about our experience and insights.

 

With his help and guidance, and with more practice,

            we learned how to imagine ourselves within a Scripture passage

                        and were able to observe and even participate ----

                                                --- which opened up some remarkable insights.

 

One of the last & most powerful of these spiritual exercises for me,

            was the night we read the story about the birth of Christ,

                        and were instructed to imagine that we were there

                                    at the stable right after Jesus had been born.

 

The priest suggested that in my mind I slowly approach the stable,

            focus on seeing and trying to identify who was there,

                        and try to experience the sights, the sounds and smells.

Then he said I should go inside and observe what was in the stable,

            then approach closer and look down into the manger itself.

 

I lost myself in that story and the Nativity experience,

            and the meditation began to feel very real, like I was there.

In my mind, I saw the shadows, heard the sounds, smelled the odors,

           and I was there at the stable, and then I stepped inside.

 

It was not the clean and beautiful of a Christmas card,

            but rustic & simple with smells & sounds of a stable & animals.

                        It was dark and mysterious and I could barely able to see

                                    except for the flickering flame of a small smoky fire,

                                                and it seemed and felt like I was really there.

 

The priest had suggested that once I had taken in the surroundings,

            then try to imagine Mary lifting the baby from the manger,

                        holding him out, and offering baby-Jesus for me to hold.

 

Then it was the strangest thing.  Suddenly I felt very ill at ease,

            and I found myself trying to back away…

                        and wishing that someone else would reach out for him…

 

… and in my imagination-meditation, I remember noticing,

                        a hurt look of puzzled disappointment in Mary’s eyes,

                                    saddened that I was hesitant,

                        not eager and filled with joy to hold her baby.

 

Mysticism can be pretty strange and unnerving.

            I was shaken and confused by my reaction of hesitation.

                                    Why had I felt hesitant to hold

                                                and to eagerly receive the baby-Jesus?

            It really was a troubling and disturbing experience,

                        and I asked the priest to help me understand.

 

He said that it was a gift, a blessing through the Holy Spirit,

            that I had been given a vision, a teaching message from God.

 

He asked me to explain why I thought I had hesitated, and I said

            that maybe it was because I felt unworthy of holding Jesus;

                                    that I wasn’t good enough  or moral enough for God,

                                                that it was way beyond anything that I deserved.

 

He replied, “No I disagree.

            Your hesitancy isn’t humility or your sense of unworthiness…

                  … but it is your pride, a sign you are blocking God’s grace.”

 

He went on,

            that perhaps I saw myself as nearly good enough on my own,

                        and I wanted to be worthy by my own efforts, for myself,

                                    so that by my good works I might balance the scale;

                            as if through my earned merits, I could be deserving.

 

Then he suggested that after I meditated on what he had said,

            in my imagination, I should return to the stable,

                        and try again to receive the Christ-child, only this time,

                                    totally by grace and not by any sense of being worthy.

It was a fascinating mystic-experience that I still keep with me.

           

Of course, that is the point of Christmas, the coming of Christ,

            and how wonderful it is that we don’t need to be worthy,

                        and that we don't have to be deserving to fully receive.

           

                        God came   taking on our finite mortal human flesh

                                    because of our inability to ever be worthy

                                                or to be deserving of God’s goodness and grace.

 

How tragic if   we let our unworthiness or that we don’t deserve,

            if we let our guilt, our shame or our regrets, or even pride,

                        keep us from   fully receiving the gifts of God’s love.

 

The call of Christmas Eve is this,

            how will we respond to the Lord Jesus?

              God’s gift, who comes in the form of a baby in a manger;

                        will we pause, submit,  take hold and receive?    …   Or not?

                                   

Will I be too busy and   too proud or distracted to receive?

            Will I let my plans  arrangements take precedent over God’s?

 

God intends for Christmas to be a special time,

            an opportunity for us to connect closer with the Lord God,

                        to receive a freshness,  to experience God's grace.

 

God has something special – something unique this year,

                        God has something memorable and wonderful

                                    for each of us this year…          but will we receive it?

            Will you receive the gift of Jesus, this year?

                        will you hold and embrace the Lord Jesus in your life?

 

Hear God’s word given through the Prophet Isaiah and John:

Isaiah 9:2, John 10:10

            The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness—  on them light has shined.  …  I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.