All Hail the Eco-sensitive Provisional People's Democratic Republic!
With the Dawn of the New Century,
The People's Committee for Animal Activities Endorsed
A New Wildlife Sanctuary for
Indigenous Lounge Lizards
(guterhunginus drunkus lizardos)
The outgoing Chairman of the Committee, Terry Prentice, Command Chief COMPSRON TWO, informed the Committee of the Hole, that Diego Garcia's own "Bermuda Triangle" was finally completed with the addition of the new, and newly infamous "HITCH'N POST" Wild Life Reserve. This new watering hole completes the Wild Life Refuge System on Dodge, adding a third ecosystem to the already established facilities located at the DGYC and the Brit Club. This addition ensures the continued survival of several endangered species (whose very existance is constantly threatened by various antiBIOTic regulations. Herewith is his report:
"We start off our night at the Seaman's club or the Yacht Club until closing (11 p.m.), then its off to the famous Brit Club. But the missing piece is the newest bar - the "HITCH'N POST" - located in the old SEAHUTS across the street from the Brit Club. The old facilities have been converted to brand new condos (of sorts) by a group of contractors called NOVA, consisting of about 10 guys here from the San Diego area doing fuel pipe replacement at the airfield.
"There was no billeting for them when they arrived, so showing their native inginuity, they built their own condos from the abandoned SEAHUTS, and attached to them they built a covered deck with a bar they dubbed the HITCH'N POST. The bar opens after the Brit Club closes, and I don't think the HITCH'N POST ever closes. Money is not accepted here only donations of liquid cheer, and a friendly smile, all are welcome to this fine bar, even though the Brit's attempted to close it down the very day it was opened (too much competition for across the road?).
"Anyway I think my friends Mike Mashing, Jim Haas, Gary Ripple, and I are better off for knowing the owners of this establishment and think they need a spot on the PPDRDG Website [editorial note: So do I, especially after seeing the female inhabitants of the Refuge]. Thanks to Lance Parks, Dale Bergman, Donny, Kurt, AC, and the boys for the unbelievable hospitality."
The Committee of the Hole unanimously approved the above report, and promptly adjourned to hunt tuna at the new refuge.
Dale and Lance, Proprietors and Unregistered Tuna Hunters at the Newest Wildlife Refuge in the PPDRDG.
Typical Wild Life Activities at the Hitch'n Post Sanctuary
Editor's Note: Terry retired in May, 2000, and I hope someone will carry on the tradition of reporting all the legal, and illegal, immoral and fattening activities on the island...
And here's the latest reviews of the HP:
"Ted, NO NOT THE HITCHIN POST!!!!!!! I almost didn't make it back from there one night!! Too much booze!!! A lil brit cutie proceded to wrestle around with a couple of US Navy officers that night tryin to beat them to a pulp, they got thier uniforms all muddy. Then we proceded to rip up their uniforms (dress whites)!!! With their permission of course. I got quite a thrill being a enlisted puke!!" Name withheld to avoid Captain's Mast proceedings.
Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 17:09:58 -0700
From: "MARK CHANDLER" <email@example.com>
I recently (last weekend) partied with Dale, Lance and Burgee here in San Diego. I am extremely sad to say that with the departure of Dale and Lance in Jan00 the HP was closed down. I have it on good authority that even some of the Brit sailors (JJ and Brum to name a few) did what they could to stop the closure of this refuge, to no avail. It's currently being used by some of the Phillipino employees of DG21. Unofficial word is that it may so be reinhabited by a new set of contractors and that the HP may be reopened. One can only hope. It truely was one of the few places to have a good time. Mark "The Shark" [editor's note: Very sad news indeed. But with all the ingenuity of the citizenry of the PPDRDG, the HP will rize like a Phoenix from the ashes...]
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This, and everything else I write and every photo I produce is copyrighted by Ted A. Morris, Jr.